I’m in a dark room.
It’s cold, and hollow, and when I move I feel heavy.
Panicked; I try to speak.
All that comes out is thick, coarse air, my vocals ripped from my throat inexplicably.
I reach my arm into the black emptiness, feeling nothing but more thickness, it’s like a fog.
Then I hear them.
Faint whisperings... Telling me why I’m in this place,
“You’re not enough”
“You make me sick”
“You’re a disappointment to everyone around you”
“They all don’t really love you”
The words keep echoing, getting louder until I can’t take it anymore.
I try to scream, but there’s nothing there.
I want to ask them why, why doesn’t anybody love me? Why aren’t I good enough?
But they don’t say anymore, just laugh as I stumble, trip, and fall to pieces on the floor.
And I believe them.
A pain so excruciating it feels like my chest is about to rip open and bleed. My heart being imploded from the inside out.
My life falling apart.
My life falling apart.
I cry out, but all you can hear is the air I’m breathing.
The hurt is so strong that my muscles feel like they can’t even lift my body anymore. One more breath and I will waste away to nothing.
What do I do?
I open my eyes, look at my computer screen, and get back to work.
